"What Self-Love Really Is"

By Sandra Dawson, MA

America's Most Loving Relationship and Trauma Expert

Many people have a distorted view about the distinction between "loving yourself and loving someone else."

The common view looks something like this. "If you can get someone to love you, then you will love yourself." And off you go, to find the love of your life.

You hope, and you pray that some how, some way, someone will love you and treat you well, never knowing that you are inviting a fantasy bond with someone who lacks self-love just like you do.

A fantasy bond is thinking and feeling, like you have a relationship with someone, but you don't share who you really are with that person. There is no real emotional foundation to a fantasy bond, so it usually ends.

Some even think that the stronger the attraction to another person, the greater the love. This all too common approach to love is a big disappointment, to say the least, for many, many people. It is more like how to break your heart.

When a fantasy bond is broken, it feels like your heart is breaking. It is very painful even though the relationship lacked a real foundation. But while the fantasy bond lacked a real foundation, it was based on truly wanting to love someone and to be loved. How sad. You want love, but your own lack of self-love keeps getting in the way. It keeps you attracting partners to you that lack the same self love you lack.

Loving yourself and loving someone else are far more alike than you or most people think. To Love yourself means valuing and accepting yourself and meeting all of your needs. Loving someone else means valuing and accepting them and being 100% supportive of them meeting their own needs. See how closely alike these are?

And you cannot value and accept someone if the real person is not known.

Who you are must be completely known and answered. Who are you or who is the real you? If you don't know, how can your partner know?

Loving yourself will not only feel great and turn your life around from top to bottom, it will also teach you how to have a relationship with someone else, including children and friends if you want to improve those relationships too.

The question I am asked most often, is "what is a healthy relationship?" Think of a healthy love relationship as one where both partners are taking care of their own needs, while at the same time they are being supportive of the needs of their partner.

The most successful relationships are in fact created by two people who love themselves, and who do not feel guilty about taking care of themselves.

If you are looking for love, then the most important advice I can give you, is for you to be your real self and put that real person out there to be seen and wanted. If you are too afraid to risk doing this, please read my eBook, "How to Fall Madly in Love with Yourself" and talk with me about ways you can learn to love yourself more. I can help you succeed at finding the love of your life. Click here for more information about my eBook or paste this url into your browser:
http://www.LearnHowToLoveYourself.com/fallmadlyinlovewithyourself

If you are already in a relationship that you would like to be happier in, please focus on taking responsibility for meeting your own needs and asking for what you want from your partner. If he or she says no, learn to respond with love and understanding, not with anger and threats. Also, read my eBook, "How to Fall Madly in Love with Yourself" and talk with me about ways you can learn to love yourself more in order to improve every aspect of your love relationship. Click here for more information about my eBook or paste this url into your browser:
http://www.LearnHowToLoveYourself.com/fallmadlyinlovewithyourself

Your life is too short to waste one more minute not loving yourself 100%. Why not take this great opportunity now to improve everything in your life by learning how to fall madly in love with yourself.

My eBook will show you how. It took me over 30 years to learn how to love myself, and now you can use my 15 steps to self-love and achieve success in love and life more easily and faster.

I am looking forward to hearing from you and helping you on your journey to increased self-love.

With love and blessings,

Sandra Dawson, MA
America's Most Loving Relationship and Trauma Expert

Free 1st Chapter of my eBook and Free subscription to my eNewsletter,

"Love Yourself Now", please click here:

http://www.LearnHowToLoveYourself.com

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